Also, if you got that First Wives Club reference then you are a huge dork. I love that movie. I don't even care.
Woah, Justin Bieber made a movie? I'm so disconnected to pop culture it's not even funny. The t.v. in the Underground is stuck perpetually between BET and Comedy Central, and every time I look over there, I have no idea why I should be excited that PEACHES GELDOF IS GETTING HER OWN SHOW!! or what KIM KARDASHIAN UNDERWEAR BOOBIE BRA REALITY JOB SEARCH LOVER BASEMENT ADVENTURE 2000!! is. It's amazing how a year or so without cable can really make you feel like the unfrozen caveman lawyer.
Last week when Robin wheedled me into going out with Ashley, Tori and this other girl I don't remember particularly liking (Ash and Tori being lovely as per usual), one of the longest conversations we all had was about music and Justin Bieber and Enrique's new song and Taylor Swift and some chick named Lady Antebellum and Corinne Bailey Rae and, uh, I don't remember all of the others. But my point here is that I had nooo idea what everyone was talking about and it felt really weird. At the end of the night, Ashley put on "Somebody to Love" by the Biebs and the girl whose name I forget asked me if I liked Justin Bieber. I said I'd never heard him before so I didn't know, but who's singing right now? This is a really good song, she has a pretty voice.
Yeah, I'm that guy now.
Ooooh, guess what I found at work the other day? I can't find any pictures of it online, but here's a sample from the same company:
So it looks like that, with the tie dye shit and the white-out silhouette of New Jersey... except better. It's hard to describe such intense physical beauty but I'll try.
Behind the New Jersey outline are four spirals of splattered glitter-glue following the curvature of the tie dye pattern, and the glitter is in alternating colors of blue, purple and green. In the corner toward the right shoulder is a tiny peace sign with the words "I LOVE MY JERSEY SHORE FRIENDS" emblazoned on the lines. But wait! There's more!
Supporting the enormous New Jersey glitter hippie acid explosion disaster on the very bottom is the pièce de résistance of the whole thing: a giant banner of stark, puffy white Ariel text that reads JERSEY SHORE. Overall it looks like someone made it in their garage with several sacrificial tubes of white-out and their little sister's craft box, so of course it's part of our inventory. I would probably buy it if it weren't too small... well... actually, no, I wouldn't buy it because I'd never wear it. I will wear some embarrassing shit, but that's going a little too far up Irony Creek. I mean, I happily wear stuff like this out of season,
but the Jersey Shore hoodie isn't endearing like a puffy paint Teddy Bear wishing friends and onlookers a Beary Christmas. It's not even cute. It's just overstimulating.
I love those little dudes dancing in the corners ahahahaafff. See, this is why I'm trying to cram my schedule with as much productivity as possible this semester; if I don't, then these things happen. Bad things. Glitter things.
ahahah those little dudes
STAND UP AND GET CRUNK
God damn. I think I've found the Web 2.0 technology that should replace quotation marks or blank space in any and all online correspondence. brb, off to e-mail my professor about the Mignolo lecture on Thursday.
Buenas tardes profe,
¿Vas a la conferencia de Mignolo para jueves? Puedo escribir un ensayo corto si me darás el credito. Tuvé enfermedad durante la prueba y ya quiero que cambiar mi nota.
Con ojos llenan de lagrimas,